É isso mesmo! Estou me auto desejando "feliz aniversário" escrevendo um post dedicado a mim. Não porque sou apenas uma carente por atenção, não! Até creio que esse nem foi um dos motivos! Mas sim porque o dia de hoje correu muito de um jeito que eu não estava prevendo e como eu adoro contar uma história, do jeito menos organizado cronologicamente ou sob qualquer outra estruturação e nos mínimos detalhes não importantes, então dessa vez o meu aniversário virou um post! You have to love me! (ironia, alou?)
Então vamos a história e prometo que ela será nos moldes já descritos acima: desorganizada e com detalhes que ninguém faz questão de saber!
Ontem, eu estava de TPM máxima! MÁXIMA! E estava dando um dia difícil ao meu e nosso querido (santo) Dani. Claro, no dia seguinte, SEGUNDA-FEIRA, seria o meu aniversário e não faríamos nada de muito legal, logo eu poderia agir e reagir como eu quisesse no fds que eu não seria julgada nem ganharia bronca! Até ganhei louça da janta lavada por meus méritos de tocar o terror no nosso Domingo! Como se a culpa fosse do Dani de o meu aniversário cair em uma segunda e ele trabalhar a 45 min longe de casa e só voltar de noite. (Ai, minha nossa, o Dani é santo mesmo!).
Voltando um pouco no tempo, há três anos atrás mais ou menos, em uma maldita TPM nível alerta máximo, eu cortei relações com uma pessoa que eu gostava muito! Erámos boas amigas e conversávamos bastante! Sim, vou repetir: Eu cortei relações! De um dia para o outro não erámos mais amigas e nunca poderíamos voltar a ser porque certas coisas não tem reparo, infelizmente!
Em vez de me julgarem ser a pior pessoa do mundo, eu aconselho de coração que cada um de vocês meus queridos leitores (quem quer q vocês os sejam!) a levar essa história e o seu contra exemplo para a sua própria vida! Eu sou uma pessoa que erro e peço desculpas no dia seguinte ou antes! Contudo, pedir desculpas em muitos casos não é suficiente! Há alguns erros que não tem como reparar, ou o tal de "voltar atrás no tempo". Erros que afetam os outros, você mesmo, o seu emprego, a sua família, o seu casamento, o seu relacionamento com um filho/filha/mãe/pai, etc! Portanto sejamos cientes de nossas fraquezas e nos policiemos! Não nos deixemos chegar perto de cometer esses erros! Evitem as tentações, abordem as situações com prudência e a mente alerta! Controle seus impulsos! Mas repito, a prudência de nem se deixar chegar perto dos perigos (grandes E pequenos) é mais importante, meritória e eficiente!
Voltando. Isso que fiz com minha então amiga, virou um verbo aqui em casa! Vamos dizer que o nome dessa minha amiga era Penélope! O verbo então seria "penelopear" que descreve o ato de cortar ligações com alguém, especialmente sob o efeito de TPM. Então vamos dizer, que ontem eu estava com perigo de penelopear alguém!
Logo, eu sabia que meu aniversário hoje seria uma porcaria! Contudo, a vida continua, né? E não consegui chutar o pau da barraca totalmente e no próprio domingo de noite eu já estava um pouco melhor, mas ainda sem esperar grandes coisas! Comeria sobras do Domingo no almoço (como assim o fiz, mas eram sobras gourmet: pimentão recheado!), faria eu mesma um bolinho pra mim (bolo gelado de côco, ainda nem comecei) e cozinharia a janta de aniversário (bacalhoada). Planejei também assistir "Breakfast at Tiffany's com a Audrey Hepburn no Netflix comendo doritos e cheetos e bebendo coca-cola (sim, depois de 3 meses de repúdio total a coca devido a história do sr mouse, ela venceu e voltei a consumir).
Pausa. Quero falar sobre a Audrey Hepburn com vocês! Comecei a ver os filmes dela pois sou fã de uma marca de maiô (só maiô, ela não faz biquinis) daqui dos EUA, "Rey Swimwear cujo lema é: Who says it has to be itsy-bitsy?"(ou na tradução: "quem disse que precisa ser pequeneninho?") e todos os modelos vintage são inspirados em algum personagem incorporado pela Audrey Hepburn em seus filmes! E os negócios estão indo tão bem que mesmo com maiôs entre $75-$100 (aqui isso é bem carinho!) faz mais de um ano que o estoque acaba totalmente e só vendem por pre order! Contudo, ainda não foi dessa vez que eu encomendei meu modelito, pois ainda não tive coragem de por a mão no bolso! Mas sempre acompanho as novidades e resolvi ver, então, os filmes com a Audrey Hepburn. (Quem quiser conferir a marca: http://www.reyswimwear.com/)
Aliás, esse desejo de ver filmes antigos e bons e parar de jogar candy crush no meu tempo livre e não livre é devido ao incrível texto que li na semana passada! Vocês deveriam ler também! (https://medium.com/p/e1ce11daa4ef)
Voltando! Esses eram os meus planos para o meu aniversário!
O dia acordou com a maior neblina e chovendo! Segundo o Dani apenas o fato de não estar tão frio com temperaturas abaixo de zero já era um presente! Bem, se era presente mesmo eu não sei, contudo não me incomodei muito com o clima. Dei até uma leve risada de pensar que essa era a idéia de Deus de dia bonito de presente para mim! Mais sobre isso later!
Comemos um café da manhã super simples a meu pedido (pão francês quentinho. Metade com manteiga, metade com queijo prato e café com leite! Adorei! O Dani foi trabalhar e eu fui encarar chuva com meus dois filhotes pra ir na missa! Daí comecei a ver os pequenos presentinhos de Deus! Bem na hora q descia e entrava no carro apenas chuviscava! Praticamente nada de chuva! No fim da missa a Rebecca adora ir cumprimentar o padre, seja qual for ele! Eu aproveitei pra falar para ele que era o meu aniversário e pedir q ele rezasse uma pequena oração por mim! Ele no entanto abriu o tablet dele (modernidades!) e pegou a benção de aniversário, para minha surpresa! Nem sabia que tinha, contudo não é estranho que tenha! Enfins, adorei as palavras da benção!
Voltei pra casa e descobri que a benção teve efeito imediato! Nada de negativismo!!! Aqui é só alegria! Na maior boa disposição comecei a arrumar a casa, lavei roupa, PASSEI ROUPA, passei aspirador na casa, dei comida para as crianças na hora certa, eles comeram bem, conversei no skype com minha família (uma das minhas irmãs também faz aniversário hoje e liguei bem na hora que eles iriam cantar parabéns então cantaram junto pra mim via skype!) e também falei no skype com uma outra irmã! As crianças foram dormir de tarde.
Além disso, comecei a preparar a bacalhoada (coisa que só iria fazer mais tarde!) e o Dani me ligou pra conversar um pouquinho e perguntar como o meu dia estava sendo! E advinhem só! Ele falou que hoje todas as coisas no lab estavam dando certo e que ele sentiu q era por causa do meu aniversário! Com certeza a mãozinha de Deus estava presente! Aliás, sempre de manhã no carro rezamos todos juntos e colocamos nossas intenções na mão de Deus!
E logo depois que terminei de falar com o Dani, olhando para a janela, nesse dia chuvoso e cinza, eu reparei que eu estava sorrindo! E faz sentido! Eu gosto de chuva! Eu gosto de tempinho chuvoso! E pode ser um presente especial pra mim, sim! Pois é o dia em que mais teria vontade de estar em casa! Mais do que qualquer outro lugar! Isto é Deus me deu um dia em que me deixasse feliz aonde eu deveria estar! Em casa, com meus nenéns!
Finalmente, depois de perceber tanto a presença de Deus no meu dia, seu amor e seu carinho e preocupação comigo, em vez de assistir o filme resolvi vir aqui escrever um post de blog pra contar tudo isso! O fato de eu ainda não estar com fome pra comer meus salgadinhos também foi um motivo, não vou negar - hehe - e também porque toda vez q passo roupa fico pensando involuntariamente em coisas pra escrever no blog. Ah, uma coisa que também alavancou bem o meu dia hoje foi que ontem a noite eu comecei a ler um livro espiritual sobre o Cura dArs e que acabau gerando muito material para pensamento durante o dia! Bendita a leitura espiritual!
Li meus recadinhos no face e isso realmente também ajuda a nos sentir lembrados e queridos! Pretendo responder a todos individualmente amanhã! E agora se me desculpam, vou ver se consigo assistir parte do filme programado pra essa tarde e especialmente comer meu lanchinho! rs!
Beijo da aniversariante,
Monday, February 10, 2014
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Vocês estão preparados para uma história bem bonitinha? Me aperta o coração só de lembrar! É uma mistura de sentimentos de apreensão, pena e amor profundo!
Aconteceu hoje de manhã!
Tudo começou quando meu querido marido teve que acordar as 5h30 da manhã para poder chegar a tempo no laboratório e conseguir fazer todos os experimentos que precisariam ser feitos hoje! Geralmente só acordamos as 7h00.
Como vocês sabem, temos apenas um carro e geralmente, quase sempre, levo e busco o Dani no Park and Ride da nossa cidade para ele pegar o fretado que vai pra Houston. Pois bem! Era ainda muito cedo para acordar todas as crianças, colocar dentro do carro e sair pra levar o Dani no Park and Ride então combinamos que ele iria de bike, sozinho então, é claro!
Ultimamente - eu maldosamente estava lhe falando que ele vinha muito esquecido da cabeça! Mas eu estava sendo meio maldosa mesmo! Mencionando várias vezes e sem perder qualquer oportunidade! Inclusive na noite anterior eu lhe dizia:
"Não vai esquecer a carteira amanhã, hein?"
O cartão do ônibus fica na carteira. Já aconteceu de ele esquecer a carteira algumas vezes e o nosso horário de manhã que já é apertado fica bem atrapalhado quando acontece isso! E especialmente hoje que ele iria levantar tão cedo eu não queria de jeito nenhum ter que acordar todo mundo na pressa e ir levar a carteira para ele poder pegar o ônibus!
Então tudo bem! Ele disse que não iria esquecer! Acordou bem cedinho nesta manhã e foi de bike para o Park and Ride! De fato, a carteira ele não esqueceu! Mas ele esqueceu a chave do cadeado da Bike em casa! Então ele deixou a bike apenas encostada no estacionamento e pegou o ônibus! Chegando em Downtown Houston, ele entra em um Mc Donald's e me liga pelo Talktone dizendo o que tinha acontecido e que eu teria que ir até o Park and Ride e prender a bike que estava solta!
Eram 7h10 da manhã e eu ainda nem tinha saído da cama (pela última vez, quero dizer, pois somente nessa noite tive que me levantar quatro vezes, duas para amamentar o Nico, uma pra levar a Rebecca no banheiro e a última quando o Dani saiu de casa para fechar a garagem!)
Aqui dois parênteses! Talktone é um aplicativo de celular/tablet que utiliza wi-fi ou plano de dados. Você pode usá-lo para o gtalk e também como telefone (dentro de território americano as ligações são de graça e para chamadas internacionais eu posso utilizar os meus créditos da conta do google! Nós só temos um celular (que não é smartphone e o Dani tem outro antigo q ele ganhou do chefe dele, que é um smartphone velhinho que ele usa sem chip. Serve apenas para ler livros e utilizar alguns aplicativos, entre eles o talktone. Por isso o Dani teve que esperar chegar em downtown e entrar em um Mc Donald's para assim utilizar a wifi de graça! =)
Segundo e mais importante parênteses. Eu já havia mencionado nesse blog que compramos uma bike nova para o Dani! Compramos por volta de setembro/outubro. Nova, pois a primeira que compramos no primeiro mês que mudamos para cá em Setembro de 2012 foi roubada apenas quarenta dias depois no bendito Park and Ride. Nós que até então pensávamos que o segundo nome da nossa cidade era Safeside, TX. A bike tinha corrente, mas era uma bem porcaria pois nunca achamos que poderiam roubar a bike, ainda mais porque já era usada e bem gasta quando a compramos! Logo, como vocês podem ver, era de muito importância que eu fosse correndo para o Park and Ride para prender a nova bike.
E assim eu fiz! Não sorrindo. Não feliz. Mas reclamando comigo mesma que o Dani era muito esquecido mesmo e também com bastante receio que já fosse tarde demais e que a bike já teria sido roubada. Ainda bem que o Nico já estava acordado quietinho na cama! Troquei a fralda dele correndo e coloquei ele no carro! Peguei a Rebecca ainda dormindo no colo e coloquei no carro! Sai de pijama, e fui até o Park and Ride com a bendita chave!
Deu tudo certo! Ufa. A bike não tinha sido roubada ainda! Consegui prender a Bike e voltei pra casa! Preparei o leite da Rebecca e um café da manhã super rápido e simples para mim para dar tempo de ir na Missa. O horário estava apertado. A caixa de leite da Rebecca tinha sido completamente esvaziada nessa manhã e sai de casa pra a jogar fora! Hoje é dia de colocar o lixo reciclado na rua (a cada duas semanas) e eu tenho mania de querer colocar todo o lixo pra fora de casa o quanto antes. Eu estava com o Nico no colo, vai saber o porquê!
Eu sai pela porta da garagem! Coloquei a caixa no cesto de lixo reciclado que já estava na rua e voltei pra dentro de casa! Quer dizer: eu tentei voltar pra dentro de casa! Quando eu fechei a porta para a Rebecca não sair na rua me seguindo, a chave embutida da porta da garagem se trancou sozinha! Logo, ficou eu e Nico pra fora de casa e a Rebecca sozinha presa dentro de casa! Eu estava sem celular, sem nada que pudesse me ajudar de qualquer forma. Tentei ver se eu conseguiria entrar pelas janelas! Mas não! Eis que a minha segunda mania mencionada nesse post é a de trancar muito bem a casa por todos os meios possíveis! Veja que até me trancar pra fora de casa é um feito que já realizei três vezes, da exata mesma forma! rs
Realmente, a minha "ladrão-proofed" casa passou do teste! Rebecca estava realmente presa pra dentro de casa e eu e Nico pra fora! Ninguém sai e ninguém entra! E... estávamos atrasados para a Missa! Aí tento falar com a Rebecca! Nessa hora voce não sabe se ajuda mais falar inglês ou português com ela! Tentei os dois!
"Rebecca, querida! Vira a chave. Tá vendo isso aqui no meio da maçaneta? É uma chavinha! Vira ela!"
Gente, foi tipo isso que eu tentei falar, né? Minha filha ainda não fala e entende tudo perfeitamente e tenho certeza que o queria dizer era bem difícil de ser entendido ainda mais falando através de uma porta, mesmo se ela já falasse e entendesse tudinho! Mas ela lindinha, me respondia:
"Keys? Ok! I know!" e "Ok!"
Mas a porta não abria!
Nessa hora eu comecei a pensar comigo mesmo e falar com Deus!
"Deus, eu percebo que foi providência divina que você deixou o Nico comigo e não trancado dentro de casa sozinho (com a Rebecca)! Mas como eu vou resolver isso? Aonde se encaixa a Sua providência nessa parte??"
Nessa mesmíssima hora me vem na cabeça: "Carro. Você deixou a chave da bike no carro. No mesmo chaveiro tem uma chave da porta de casa. Mas o carro está trancado. Você SEMPRE tranca tudo. Você sabe disso". "Abra a porta do carro. Tente abrir."
Puxei a maçaneta do carro de maneira robótica. Ele estava destrancado. A chave da bike e a chave da porta de casa estavam dentro! Estamos salvos!!!!!
Consegui abrir a porta de casa em menos de cinco minutos desde que essa tensa situação tinha começado! Abri a porta pra dar de cara com a minha fofa e queridíssima Rebecca, segurando isso em suas mãozinhas:
Entenderam agora o meu sentimento de coração apertado? E ainda misturado com sentimento de alívio e gratidão a Deus!
Pra finalizar, de forma alguma tenho a pretensão de "provar" que Deus existe. Não existem provas! É questão de fé e da liberdade pessoal desejada por Deus que cada pessoa tem de querer acreditar ou não nEle. Mas essa é a minha fé e quis compartilhar um pouco essa história tão bonitinha que ilustra um pouco o meu relacionamento com Deus e como consigo sentir sua presença e proteção e seus ensinamentos na minha vida!
Ensinamento de hoje:
- Não reclame nunca do seu ótimo e esforçado marido!
Ficou claro pra mim que Deus se aproveitou do Dani, que iria esquecer a chave da bike, para que assim eu conseguisse abrir a porta de casa de forma tão extraordinária, isto é, não comum.
Friday, January 17, 2014
Tomorrow, January, 18th, Dan and I will be celebrating our 5th Wedding Anniversary! BUT, this is our 4th wedding anniversary post in english! This is a translation of the same post in portuguese that I first posted on January LAST YEAR. Yes, I'm planning on writing the post of our 5th anniversary but first I have to translate this one! Call me lazy, I'll admit it!
Ps.: This is a translation but I couldn't help but change something here and there! And I actually added a couple of paragraphs! So you might want to read it again even if you have already read the original portuguese post (click here for the original, one year old post in portuguese.)
Like I said on my last post, on January, 18th Dan and I celebrated fours years of marriage!!! =)
I decided, therefore, to share one more part of "The Story of Us" post series. For those of you who don't know to what I refer, right at the beginning of this blog I posted the WHOLE story of how Dan and I met each other and how we ended up dating. I divided the story in 6 parts and during those times I had plenty of extra free hours in my day and energy to write all of my posts both in portuguese and english! That's so not the case anymore! For those who might be interested, I'm posting the link for each of the six posts of "The Story of Us" series. I'll also ask you to ignore my many english errors. It's been a long time since I wrote these posts and I would like to believe my english improved considerably since then, although I'm sure I still have pretty "bad english days"(something like "bad hair day"? You got it!) and even my "good english days" are far from perfect!
"The Story of US" - part 1"
"The Story of US" - part 2"
"The Story of US" - part 3"
"The Story of US" - part 4"
"The Story of US" - part 5"
"The Story of US" - part 6"
But let's get down to business! Actually I've decided to call this post as the seventh part of the story of us because it's the newest post I write regarding this same subject, but it's doesn't follow the same chronological sequence the other six posts share. This time, what I intend to tell is how Dan and I decided to get married!
Unfortunately, Dan didn't ask me to marry him, officially - I mean! So I don't have "Our Engagement Story" to share. I feel kinda sad for myself that we didn't do this way - now that I live in the US - but in Brazil it's really not that common to have it anyway, although it's getting more popular!
It's kinda awesome when you have your man kneeling down to gently ask you in marriage and get to know what his creativity elaborated for this moment! Specially now that I live in the US and got to know some of my friends' story and even to be present in one of them. And not to mention the beautiful engagement ring the lady receives!!! Who actually can say "no" looking at one of these?? haha (I joke! That's not what I actually believe, don't worry!)
So I didn't have a formal occasion for the the moment of our engagement. (But I make sure to tell Dan every year that he owes me and I'm expecting a moment like this - and a diamond ring - for when we are older.) Yet, when I say to Dan that he didn't officially asked me to marry him he insists that he formally asked me in marriage, indeed. But that's only a half truth. I'll tell you more about it later! Wait for it!
The bottom line is that Dan and I have always discussed marriage when we were dating. And at my request, we weren't sleeping together, so to discuss marriage it's not an unusual thing in these conditions although it shouldn't have to be in any conditions, really! And two people not sleeping together, dating for a considerable time will naturally be considering to marry with each other. So marriage was in our minds since the beginning!
I told you that Dan insists he officially asked me in marriage. But the whole truth is that we had three occasions like that (without the kneeling down, the fancy dinner and the diamond ring parts, I mean.). And one of these actually happened before we start dating. It was actually kinda of a shock to me and I should have described this moment at the "The Story of Us" post part 5 or 6 (check the links above).
Fact is that Dan was already 26 years old at the moment and this is NOT a age to leave your singlehood behind and start dating someone if you actually don't think the person is a good candidate to marry. (Although, one more, this shouldn't be any different no matter the age, but let's be realistic considering how people are raised nowadays.) But back to Dan. He was kinda tired to be always dating the "wrong" person. By "wrong" he means the person that you are simply not sure you want to marry one day.
Obviously one have to venture into dating to find out if one person is the "right" or "wrong" for you, BUT that doesn't mean that a previous selection of the candidates isn't helpful. It's helpful and I dare to say it's very important. And there is also the intuition factor (or God-sent intuition factor, for those who believe) that I wouldn't disregard if I were you, my dear reader who is not married yet! I'll go a little beyond that (bordering the mysticism haha) and say that's specially true if you are the guy, not the girl.
It's a intuition that makes you realize without all the words that THAT person has something different. Something in her/him attracts you very much and it's something more profound that the merely physical attraction (even though you made sure the physical attraction it's present! It's important, you guys! Its importance degree varies but it is "kinda" of an important one for sure!). This person also passed the test of the pre screening, meaning that nothing leads you to believe that there might be a serious impediment nor a serious flaw that could indicate that the relationship shouldn't even start between you two.
I would say that, if we were to be very honest with ourselves and don't let the feeling of need we might be feeling weigh in our reasoning, we can know right away if a person it's a possible good candidate for us. If not right away, within a few weeks, for sure! (ps.: I don't include in this scenario that person who is a pathological "two-faces" and therefore can be really deceiving. For this case, it should take longer for the other to realize something is wrong and it might helpful to know his/her family and friends beforehand.)
To actually realize this intuition factor, to be aware of this, helped me a lot in the beginning of any of my relationships. That's why ALL of them didn't last more than 2 weeks - a month and with Dan, it lasts forever! =) I'll be more specific. When Dan and I were dating for a little more than a month (so he passed my usual "relationship deadline") I started to get a bit anxious and in crisis with myself. I remember thinking: "Oh no. I can't see any red flags in this relationship!!! I still like him and even more than when we started and I can't see any signs that might threaten this relationship to progress, to work out." - I freaked out, you guys, well, because everything was going fine and the way it should be!
But the reason why I freaked out is that this reasoning also made me realized that Dan and I would - maybe - probably - get married one day! That was it! There was no more "looking for". He would be the one! But at the same time there is the fear that I might be wrong. And what if we are dating for years when we finally realize we are not meant for each other? Can you imagine a broken heart like that? I can't and I must believe it's the worst thing ever to give yourself and your heart so much (even though I've never planned to give myself physically completely to someone before marriage, and even more if you think of all those people who actually do it!). How can one heart recover from a breakup of a long and profound relationship? It can not! It's broken, broken!!!!! It will never more be the same, I'm sure! Yes, mistakes make us stronger and make us learn (we all hope) but that doesn't mean that's how things always should be.
So it had come to me the moment of decision. To continue dating Dan (and marry him, or have my heart broken eventually if that doesn't work out) and to break with him right now!! (At that time, I mean!). So I stopped and had a time for reflection! Like a good engineer, I tried to think in all the "variables of my problem". And I found out that my fear was actually that in the future, if Dan and I are still dating, there might be some guy else who would make me doubt that Dan and I are really meant to be. (Because the fear that Dan was a two-face was really minimal close to nonexistent.)
Well, if that was really all that was scared of, I had a solution! And I know you are probably going to think that is a cold blood solution and a not very romantic one and I agree with you! But it worked WONDERS! My solution was to make a list of all the guys I had a little crush on and weigh them all in the minimal details. Since the list was considerably large (about 15 guys? lol), I tranquilized myself that even though there might be someone new in the future, I would already had him covered in some way with this analyzes. I weighed all the pros and cons of each one of them and sometimes even compared them to Dan. I can assure you it was a very comprehensive analyzes and I was very specific. Enough to make me see that Dan was really the one for me and that I could rest and be calm with my decision. Which actually happened! I never more doubted Dan had what it takes for me to marry him! It gave me so much peace! A very needed peace! (And in the case you need to know, Dan was aware of this analyzes because I told him almost right away! I cannot keep my mouth shut you must also have realized it by now!) So you could see that the thought of marrying Dan was present in my mind like a serious possibility really soon in our relationship! Less than two months into it! And I was incredibly happy about my newest discovery!!
I would like to add two more considerations regarding all this matter that weren't present in the original post but I feel that can add some value to the whole thing. The first consideration is that I always knew, and so did Dan, that once we were married it would be forever and it doesn't matter the problems or people that come to our lives, we would MAKE our wedding work through all things. The second consideration is that I'm not a person who actually believes there is just one person meant for you. I just don't think it's reasonable! And I don't think that's the only actual possibility for a relationship to work. I don't even think God meant this way. Maybe I'm wrong. Or maybe I'm partially wrong. Maybe for some couples, they were really meant for each other like no one else could have been.Yes. I do believe there are some cases, a few, like this! But I don't consider it to be common sense nor do I believe it's a quintessential factor in choosing to marry someone! Because, like I said, once I'm married, I'm married forever! We make it work! Of course it's still truth that it's important to look for and FIND a good fit for you.
I feel I should be honest with you guys. There were some moments (probably PMS moments, Oh, poor Dan!) that I wasn't sure we had it all, but I can finally say now after these five years of marriage that I cannot really imagine myself with some other guy (and that not even the strongest PMS would change that!) That Dan is really the one! The one that I chose, that chose me, but sometimes, also THE ONLY ONE! So I think what I'm trying to say is that marriage really gets better with time, if both parts keep believing and keep putting effort into making it work! =)
Wow, that was a long "parenthesis", but we are finally getting back to our actual story! I was going to tell you about the three times Dan and I asked each other in marriage (or kinda of)! The first time happened before we were even dating and I'll briefly described it. I was tired of dating guys to find out what could happen between us and so was Dan. He even told me in these words: "If we start dating, I don't plan to end it." haha Kinda scary to hear this, right?? So this was our first not official moment of engagement, on our very first day of relationship. CRAZY!!!
Then, the second time we kinda asked each other in marriage actually started with me saying all the words! We were dating for about six months already. Like I said, we always talked marriage, kids, education of the kids, etc. So during one of these times, we were online chatting through msn and I just let go: "I want to marry you, hahaha". I confess I added the "hahaha" part out of jitters of the moment. Then Dan kindly and promptly (for my relief) replies: "Me too!!!".
Finally, our third and last time - and probably the one most close to the official american engagement moment (the one, according Dan) - came when we were at the airport saying goodbye for the first time! For those of you who don't know it yet, Dan went to the US to complete his graduate studies when we were still dating and I was still in college. So we ended up dating long distance for about one year and a half. What a terribly sad time it was! I hated all of it! But we are now ok, we've managed it, we've been through it and the outcome turned out to be successful.
Lastly, I want to tell you about the official and actual start of our engagement that came when I reserved the church for the ceremony! Again in unusual conditions and somehow another crazy part of the story! It was February, 2008. Dan and I have been dating long distance for almost six months and we were once again, online chatting through MSN. Dan would be travelling back to Brazil and staying for a month in just a few days for the first time since he'd left. One of the reasons was that he had his master's defense to present in Brazil and the other one, to reunite with me for some time! After this he would go back to the US to continue his temporary work as a lab technician. He would start his PhD in Texas only in August.
We were discussing deadlines and future plans. Between his winter break and his future PhD program schedule and me finishing college and a few other things, we concluded we would have to marry in mid January, next year (aka 2009). There wouldn't be no other better time, or not even another doable time. Well, not before another six months period after January.
With this in mind, I've realized we didn't even have a year ahead of us. And for those who already ventured into engagement know that almost every nice place or church is completely booked for one year in advance! So one day I was praying with my mom in a church that's pretty popular for weddings (that's another difference between the brazilian and the american style. You get to choose the church you want to get married, usually at the bride's hometown, but you don't have to be a parishioner of that church.) I said to my mom I was going to look - just to look - into the wedding reservations at the parish's office. As I was looking into their reservations, there was no more vacancies for the whole month of January EXCEPT in one day, mid Jan because there had been a cancellation. I freaked out! We HAD to marry in mid Jan, and there it was: a miraculous opening because of a cancellation. I took that as a God sent sign and booked the church right away, even without talking to Dan first.
And that's how I turned a bride, officially! Booking the church even before Dan was back for the US for the first time! We didn't even know exactly how things were going to be between us in our reunion (sure, we had a pretty good idea since we'd talked all the time through webcam. It was a crazy thing to do, nonetheless. I just hope I got to explain what happened that leaded me to do book the church so impulsively!
And afterwards I had to cancel my reservation at that church anyway. Because when it was time to book the place for the reception we couldn't find a good day with the one we already had the church reservation. In the end, we did had our wedding ceremony in my parish, with Mass (so not a usual thing in Brazil. even if you really want one!) on a Sunday, at noon, because our pastor was really attentive and sweet with us and my family and he suggested it as a favor when I was telling him our wedding schedule problems! Much better than anything I could have planned myself or even hoped! I always remember to pray for him, at his request when I asked him how we could show our gratitude.
So that's our engagement/wedding story! Maybe I will share more details in the future! For now, that's it! Once again I apologize for the huge post!
Friday, January 3, 2014
This is my year in review blog post.I would like to have written it a month ago while sending out Christmas cards but the end of last year was kinda crazy to us! Needless to say, I didn't even send out any Christmas cards but got some in reply (?) which made me incredibly ashamed and somehow propelled me to write this ASAP. Also, the fact that it's already 2014 for three days has something to do with it!
And there were so many things I would like to write in this blog, but time is getting short by the second. Literally.
But I would love if you guys would remind me to write about my 2014 resolutions, a spiritual post about asking God's grace and a post with my favorite Mary songs. If I feel like I owe something to someone I tend to be more effective.
But here we go, to my 2013 year recap.
We kicked off 2013 with a third trimester pregnant Gabby on our new house! In february things started to get crazy as half the world visited us! I joke, but we really had a lot of family coming over and staying with us for some time! It felt great to be able to host people as it was the first time we had a spare bedroom and a comfortable home to share it.
In March, 10th, our little dude Nico arrived! He was a good boy as he waited to be born on a Sunday, after mass and only one and half day before my parents arrive. They got to see Nico when I was still on the hospital. Everything was smooth, thanks be to God. Except that he had shown to be clingy and not a very good night sleeper since the beginning! But there is still room to be grateful as, incredibly, I'm managing it and not lying dead on the floor. Usually.
In April, my in laws came and Nico was baptized. Meanwhile, on the other side of the river, Rebecca was still not talking, not potty trained and not doing a LOT things I wished she was. On the bright side, she also managed really well the arrival of her little brother! Sure, "there will be" jealousy, sometimes, but the fact is that I was expecting much, much worse. She is a good girl!
Only in May all the visitors were gone and we could taste what really meant to have two kids and no family around us! Right now, looking back, I don't feel like it was too bad! Although I can't help but remember how Dan got sleep deprived. The guy needs to chillax! Are you reading it, honey? Don't worry so much! The kids will survive and they will do just fine. And you need some good nights of sleep!
But I'm not complaining about Dan, don't get me wrong! The "complaints" come from over complimenting him. He is such a selfless guy and worried about the minimal details regarding our babies that more than a few times he over did himself! I wrote a little about it on the "father's day" post.
After this point, I don't actually have a month to month recap. But a developmental one! Two actually. One regarding Nico's achievements and the other about Rebecca's. And then some random picked facts put it together. Let's get to it!
Nico, by the end of 2013, cute as it can be had 6 teeth. He started solids at 4 months and just recently we realized that he probably cried of hungry for five months. Don't worry, he was fine, but would had liked a little more food shoved down, that's for sure, now we know. He never liked tummy time and it was during these moments that he clearly showed the size of his big mouth and powerful voice. He also dislikes being left alone and on the other hand, becomes incredibly satisfied while being carried. Mommy cooked a lot of dinners with Nico on the side! This time I don't mean it literally, chillax! He also smiled a lot, and melted our hearts more than I could count! Daddy could tell you that too! Nico floods him with kisses. Just daddy....... but I'm fine, I'm fine! Actually, I love that Nico loves his daddy so much and vice versa! A recipe for success, I'll tell you! And finally, the big milestone came two days ago, so only in 2014, but he started moving. I wouldn't say crawling... what he is doing it's too weird and funny to be called crawling. But never mind that, cuz he is on the go, yay!
Rebecca was a warrior last year! Actually, 2013 was Rebecca's year. Well, Nico's too since he was born, BUT.... Rebecca was awesome you guys! She became an awesome big sister, she started using fork and spoon really well, she conquered and mastered potty training (she is GREAT at it), she loves to learn and read new books with mommy, she shows great potential (speaking of her intelligence), turned three years old at the end of August, started MDO a few days after, she loves school, she's great at making friends, she is joyful and playful, she went to her first Halloween party, she got sick more times that I would have liked, she got better, AND SHE IS TALKING!!! What a year!!! Whatta girl!!
This year we went a few times (three, to be exact) to the beach for the great pleasure of our Rebecca old time beach lover and our brand new beach lover, Nico! We went a lot of times to Menchies for frozen dairy-free yogurt and a lot of times to the library! All of us benefited from the local library and I'm happy and proud of it! Gabby reread all seven HP books in english and fell in love with magic all over again!
We bought a lot of things for our house like paintings and a big cross for the walls, a six seats dinner table, some small appliances and things for the kitchen, some gym equipments for Dan, a new bike and, naturally, an extra queen bed for the guest room and necessary things for Nico. We are grateful to God for all of this. I'm still missing some curtains and a rug for the living room! Let's see what can be done this year!
Spiritually, we continued to attend catholic formation ministered by the Opus Dei and Dan and I attended the Couple's Prayer Series at our parish! The kids and I (most times Nico and mommy because Rebecca was at MDO) also attended Kids adoration hour almost every Tuesday and that's probably one of the biggest blessings of this year!
Emotionally, I feel very much in love with my husband like I've never been since we got married! I'm very happy! =) I'm sure this will continue to the next years with God's help and our own efforts!
We started to drink wine regularly. Our neighborhood - our house included - started recycling. Dan got a merit based raise on his pay check and family came to visit one last time on December! We got to spend Christmas together in a vacation house in Orlando and I got see the Harry Potter theme park and drink butter beer and pumpkin juice! We spent new years in our house in Texas and they left without us yesterday morning to more adventures!
And lastly, a sad happening. My mom's best friend from college, my sister's godparents, lost his sweet and talented 25 years old son on a car crash on Dec, 26th. I cannot explain in so little words how this affected us! We weren't so close, specially because they moved to the US about 15 years ago, and before that we lived in different cities in Brazil. But they kept visiting us every year, we had each others on facebook and their three sons were the sweetest guys one can ever met! I truly feel like I missed a brother, although I'm sure I cannot even imagine their pain. I'll be praying for his soul and comfort for his family for all my life!
Be safe everyone! Love God and your neighbor. Life is too precious and the pain of those who stay is enormous and life after death lasts forever!
Peace to all and a truly blessed new year is what I wish for everyone.
I finish this post with a Christmas song:
"Let there be peace on Earth"